Eat Pay Then Leave
by BeyondBirthday'sBestie
Summary: Welcome to Logan's Roadhouse. We have steak and we have beer. What'll it be?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Logan's Roadhouse. Yes. Perfect. You've got to love it. The irony. Heh, I hope this makes you laugh, Machi. And Hono, you already know the jokes. So laugh just to humor me, please. There will be more chapters. This is just a start. It's short. Life's short. Dance in your underwear.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own James Howlett or Logan's Roadhouse. If I did, I'd be fat. Because I would eat steak all day long. **

_Eat. Pay. Then Leave. _

_-_

_-_

A happy young couple were hand-in-hand, grinning at each other excitedly. It was their two-year anniversary of dating, and the man, Mark, was going to propose to his beautiful girlfriend, Samantha. He told her that he was going to take her out to eat after she got home from work. They weren't the richest couple in the world, so a nice little restraunt wouldn't be hard to find. They lived right on the border of Canada, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They had never crossed the border for things other than shopping, so Mark opened the door of his burnt orange El Camino and let Samantha step inside, put the keys in the ignition, and drove straight north the border.

They drove along, watching the serene scenery pass by, before Samantha gleefully pointed at a little roadhouse called 'Logans'. Mark pulled into the parking lot and stepped out gracefully, opening the door once more for his girlfriend who looked absolutely stunning to him. They were hand-in-hand, and Mark could feel the ring inside his coat pocket bounce around.

The smell of spices and steak was thick in the air. Mark could also smell a strong scent of beer dancing in his nostrils. Samantha was smiling, so it didn't matter to him. The two were greeted by a scruffy looking man, his face animal-like, stubble on his face making him look quite a bit older than he really was. His uniform was a bit tacky and his facial expression was not a happy one. Mark watched the wolfy man pull out a cigar and light it right infront of them both. He huffed on it before speaking.

"Welcome to Logan's Roadhouse. We have steak and we have beer. What'll it be?" it was obvious he was trying to be polite, but that was an utter fail. Mark soon began to wonder if it was a joke...Samantha gave the man a puzzled look.

"What?"

"Here. Take a seat. It's not a tough decision, skinny," the man pointed to an empty booth where Mark pulled Samantha to. They both sat, looking at each other with the same expressions.

"Is this guy for real?" Samantha whispered, glancing over her shoulder to watch as her server huffed once more on the fat cigar.

"I think so. Steak and beer. That's it? Maybe we're on one of those hidden-camera shows," Mark muttered the last part to himself.

"Well, neither of those sound bad...salad sounds good too, but--" Samantha's speech was interruped when the tall, dark-haired man re-appeared infront of their table.

"Got an answer yet, kiddo?" he asked impatiently, holding a pad of paper and a chewed-up pencil. Samantha opened her mouth to speak, but Mark cut her to the chase, "Do you have salads here?" he asked kindly, finally noticing the name tag that the man was wearing. It said in bolded letters **LOGAN**. So he was the owner...? Logan chewed on his cigar before pulling it out, starring at Mark with an annoyed look.

"No, ya pansyass. We have steak. And we have beer," he answered in a deadpan voice. Samantha leaned in and looked up at Logan with a smile.

"I'll have a 16 ounce steak and a Bud Weiser," Logan gave her a wolfy grin and nodded to himself.

"See, skinny, you could learn a thing or two from her," he smacked Mark on the shoulder, a little harder than Mark was expecting. Logan stalked away back to the kitchen while Samantha grinned at her boyfriend proudly.

"Suck on that, Marky," she playfully remarked.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hehehe. LOGAN...hehe. This oughta persuade SOMEONE!!! (cough) to write my fic for me, but, you know...*kicks the dirt absentmindedly* So, yeah. Logan. Roadhouse. Me and my bff are here too. BECAUSE WE'RE LAME and no one else reads this, aparently. (Because if you did, you could REVIEW, you know...)**

**Disclaimer: EH!**

Mark rolled his eyes, shoving his girlfriend playfully. Samantha giggled, placing a menu between her and Mark and the rest of the restraunt. She leaned her face in closely and whispered:

"This might actually be fun! That Logan guy was kinda funny..." Samantha trailed off, looking over her shoulder with paranoia. Mark stiffled a laugh.

"You're only saying that because he was totally hitting on you," he replied cockily, as if trying to say he _knew _his girlfriend was hot, and didn't care if anyone else knew it. Samantha blushed lightly, turning her head and waved her hand dismissivly.

"Yeah, yeah, so? I'm hot. I deserve it," she said pointedly. Mark grinned. She did look pretty hot that night...

"Hey, lovebirds. Got your food here," A tall blonde girl said, setting a large tray down on the table that contained exactly as Samantha had ordered. The blonde, with a nametag that read in large letters **SYDNEY**, handed Samantha her 16 ounce steak and uncapped the beer bottle for her. She mumbled her thanks to Syndey, and looked up to see another girl, about the same age, join the blonde. Her hair was a messy brown and red, short, and she was slightly shorter than Sydney. Her name tag read **SAMMY**, which intrigued Samantha a bit.

"Hey, you," the shorter girl pointed a pencil towards Mark, "are you gonna order anything or not?" she asked impatiently. Her shift ended in an hour and she wanted go get out of the sweathole. Mark looked up, smiling politely.

"I'll have the same thing as my beautiful girlfriend," he smirked at his soon-too-be-if-she-said-yes fiancee, who was blushing. Samara, or Sammy for short, rolled her eyes and leaned on Sydney's shoulder with a cocky grin.

"Yep. That's what you call a total douche bag right there," she whispered into her ear, making the blonde giggle. Samantha sat up straight, directing her gaze at Samara.

"Um, excuse me, this is going to sound weird, but...is your name Samantha too?" Samara raised her eyebrow, taking her elbow off of Sydney's shoulder.

"Um, no. It's not. Who asked you?" she spat, rather rudely. Samantha fiddled with her sleeve, feeling slightly uncomfortable now.

"Oh, s-sorry, just wondering..." she mumbled to herself, feeling very odd at the moment. Why was everyone being so rude?

Suddenly, Logan popped around the corner, shoving a plate and a beer at Mark, looking rather annoyed, as usual.

"Here you go. Eat. Pay. Then leave," Logan stated simply, leaning against the wall, still smoking a cigar. Mark blinked.

"Uh, thanks. I, think..." He pulled out his knife and dug into his meal, finding the steak to be very good, just the way he liked it. The tiny little pink in the middle was his favorite. It wasn't medium well, but wasn't too rare either...

"This is excellent," Mark said through bites, "Absolutely perfect," Logan shrugged, huffing on his cigar a few times.

"Eh. It's a slab of meat, kid. Anyone can cook that," Mark continued to look down at his meal, ignoring the wolfy man. Soon enough, both girls and Logan left back to the kitchen, and Mark and Samantha were alone. Mark could feel the ring in his pocket starting a fire. It was burning a hole and he started getting anxious. He wanted to ask her, wanted to hear her reply. He wanted to hear her accept it...his stomach ached with anticipation. Soon, enough, he felt he was ready to propose...

"Um, Samantha?" The girl looked up from her beer, smiling at her boyfriend.

"Yeah, Marky?" she replied, taking another sip of beer before letting him answer. Mark coughed before he spoke:

"Samantha, you have been the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. You have been there through it all and held out your hand every time. You have loved me more than anyone else in the world. I'm not asking for you to be my superman, but..." Mark got down on one knee and pulled out the diamond ring, "I am asking you to be my wife," Samantha's breath was caught in her throat. She didn't know what to do, what to say. He was finally proposing to her...it was like a dream, playing over and over...he looked so determined, so ready. She took in a deep breath and---

"Wow. And I thought 'Failure to Launch' was the cheesiest, cheapest thing I'd ever seen. Well, looks like we'll have to start a new list, won't we?" Logan grinned over at his two employees who were both laughing hysterically. Mark's cheeks burned red and he felt his gut sink. Cheesy? Cheap?! He felt the need to cry at that moment...

"Yes."

"...hm?" Logan looked over, shocked.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes!!" Samantha jumped up, into Mark's lap, crying with excitment.

"Y-you will?! S-samantha, thank you!!" The couple danced around with joy, screaming and laughing and hugging. A few moments later, Logan pulled the cigar from his lips and said, "The hot ones always take the losers, don't they?"

**A/N: Crappy ending. Not very well written. Rushed. Yeah. I just wanted to finish it. I think I got my point across, though...which is:**

**LOGAN IS A JERK! BUT WE LOVE HIM AND HIS ROADHOUSE!**

**:) Matthew might even read this for me when he gets home!!! YAYYY!! **

**(sorry, L-koi, but Matthew is the hotness)**


End file.
